


Toska

by PetrichorPerfume



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Lucifer's Fall, M/M, Michael's Fall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 08:37:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2461826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Michael fails his Father's test of faith, his wings are shackled and he is sentenced to Fall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Toska

**Author's Note:**

> Toska is a Russian word that Vladmir Nabokov describes thusly: "No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody or something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness."

The day that Michael steps out into the fields Paradise, wings shackled, clipped, and bound, Heaven turns away in shame. Gabriel begins to weep, Raphael hangs his head, and the choirs cease their eternal song.

 

Michael is unashamed, dry-eyed and forward facing. He’d had time enough to feel shame as he stood at the edge of Heaven, gazing down mournfully at the place Lucifer had fallen. He’d had time enough to weep as his faith was tested and his loyalty tried. He’d had time enough to bow down and prostrate himself towards the ground as he knelt before his Father and whispered, “Forgive me, Father, for I have failed; I love him still.”

 

Now, though, there is no shame left for him to feel, no tears left for him to weep, no apologies left for him to make as Gabriel draws his sword, slowly, hesitantly (doubtfully, for Michael can see already that Gabriel will be next to Fall), and sets it ablaze with holy righteousness and heavenly wrath.

 

There are no prayers left to him to sing, no pleas left for him to beg as Raphael’s brutal fingers curl around him and push, steadfast in their faith but trembling still, as his had, with fatal love.

 

And as Michael closes his eyes and begins to Fall, there is nothing, save for peace.


End file.
